Saturday, September 18, 2010

Girls need their Daddies too...

Hello All!!

This is me and my Dad at my eighth grade graduation. I chose this picture, and this time frame (the Seventies! Groovy) because it was at this age that I realized the importance of my having a Dad.

My earliest memories of him was sitting on his lap and singing "our song":

Daddy: "I loooooove....."

Me: "Daddy!!!"

Daddy: "My good ole sweet......"

Me: "DADDY!!!"

This drove my mom nuts, which is the main reason we sang this song. We still sing it today...

By the time the above picture was taken my Daddy taught me:

How to BBQ anything - hence the reason I write a weight loss blog...

How to plaster, patch and repaint a wall - don't ask....

How to replace a kitchen and a bathroom sink..

How to lay carpet..

How to fight - not that windmill stuff, the hook-jab-cross-BAM-lay-a-nigga- out-fighting

How to fish and hunt and shoot...

How to change a tire , the oil and filters, and most belts in my car...

Basically, I think that he wanted his eldest to be a boy( I have two younger bros), but since that didn't happen, and I sure as hell wasn't going to be left out of anything, he went right along with the program. My bros and I still argue about who is the most spoiled out of us - the girl, the baby, or the Marine. But we all know who's little diamond encrusted pinkie our Dad is wrapped around. To this day, all I have to do is look like I need's there.

My dad did realize that he had a girl tho....and while Mom was teaching me social graces and the importance of waiting for the right guy ("You get pregnant, the streets will be your new home"), Dad was making sure that no one got out of line with his little girl. If he didn't know your "people", sorry! If your "people" weren't quite right - nope!

If you came over looking anything less like a gentlemen (no braids, no afro with a hat in the middle) you got your feelings hurt. Bad - my father made up the Dirty Dozens...

And you did not mess with the Princess. Only two have tried - between the ass-whoopin by me, then my bros, then (the piece de resistance!) the quiet but effective threat by Daddy, I don't think either one of them has messed with anyone else since.

My Dad gave me my sense of adventure and humour. There wasn't anywhere that he felt that we couldn't go or experience. The South, both Coasts and Overseas - he made sure that his kids understood that this was OUR world too - and we had as much right to trash it as anyone else! He could cuss you under the table and make you want to be his best friend afterwards. He could charm, stall, and cajole you into doing anything his way - traits I'm proud to say that have, and as I get older they get better!

My Daddy was MY Daddy - when I got home, he was there. When I needed to share triumphs, tragedies (She had the SAME PROM DRESS ON), problems or just talk - he was right around the corner, across from the kitchen, in his easy chair, watching Roller Derby.

So, by the time I graduated from junior high, I was ready....worldly, confident, kick-ass ready!! Ready to take on high school, college, life - head on! I knew more at 14 that most people know at middle age. I will be the first to admit that I was - and still am- spoiled rotten, but as I look around at the state of families today, I don't regret how I was raised at all...

It saddens me that our young, beautiful, vibrant black girls are literally being thrown away...some never knowing how a father shapes you. Never knowing how it feels to be the apple of your daddy's eye, never feeling safe and protected against the Boogie-men, imagined and real. Never having that back up, that person that would knock that weight off of your shoulders when you both knew it was too much. Not knowing what it is to have a full time Daddy, not just someone that drops off money and takes you to the park for an hour on the weekends...when it's your turn.

From birth to around age eleven are important years for girls. The first man to hold her, tell her that she is beautiful and strong, to adore her, to make and keep promises to her - that should be Daddy....that's how girls grow into women that make good choices in love and life. She should be able to see a loving relationship between Mom and Dad. It's not enough to be there, fathers and mothers - you have to BE THERE....Legally, in body and spirit. Your little girls - our future Black Women - deserve that and more....

" I loooooove - Daddy!! My good ole sweet.....DADDY!!"


  1. amazing post!! i really really liked it and thanks for sharing. Your dad sounds like an amazing great guy, just the right type of daddy to have. Have a good weekend

  2. Thank you!!! He is a great man, I'm one of the lucky ones!

    Thanks for stopping by - as soon as I figure out how, I will add you to my blog list!

  3. Aww, I loved this post! This is a great addition to the NWNW roster-I'm so glad you wrote it :)

  4. Thank you sweetie!! I love your blog too!!

  5. This was beautiful! One of my favorite things to do is watch my daughters with my dh.