I'm pissed right now, Beyond Pissed. I wanted my return to posting on my blog to be lighthearted, maybe brag about some weight I lost, tell a few jokes..... Sorry, next time, tonight have to jump in someone's behind.
Let me start out by telling you what BWE (Black Women's Empowerment) and the women that started it all mean to me. I'm also going to tell you what BWE aint.. (pardon my speech and my language, but I'm tired, I'm pissed and I have no more f*%'s to give about what anyone thinks right now) .
BWE was started a few years ago, I discovered this wonderful movement in 2007. Looking for information - ANY information - about IR dating and black women that didn't automatically bring up porn, I stumbled upon Evia's blog. She was the first person that actually put into print what I had known for some time, but was too entrenched in "being black" to see - "It's your life, live it the way you want, be who you want to be with, you are not beholden to anyone or any community!!" She posted pics of Black women - both celebrities and ordinary women like me - "Living Well", enjoying life, finding love, and often described her own great life of "passing as black"... Honestly, it was too much to take in, and I visited often. Thru her blog, I linked to Halima, Khadija, Aimee, Sara, C1 , Pioneer Valley, Faith, Gina, Cher - and I met and commented with women that like me, were so grateful that the Truth was finally being told. Some truths were ugly - it isn't the greatest thing growing up Black and female if you aren't schooled properly - and yes, there were disagreements from time to time. But the message was clear - Black Women first, her needs, her image, her future. The movement spurred me to partner up with a fitness blogger, Tamika from Sweet Potato Pie, and write about a fantasy of mine that I wanted to come true - losing weight. Evia linked us, and for two years off and on, we had a lot of laughs.
The women, the founders, the "Queens" of BWE - they weren't cut and paste people. They took time out of their lives to write what I would consider novels - detailed information on how BW were being screwed over, how to spot and get rid of negative influences, the importance of being Global, how to Think Critically and stay of of the box. How to know your worth as a Black woman, even if no one else did. How not to be invisible. I loved every moment of it. It was a think tank of ideas, questions - we were being reborn. I was anyway.
These women put their very safety on the line for us....a few times, some had to leave because trolls got too close, information was being leaked. But they always came back, stronger, because they believed that the message was worth the effort and hassle. And it was....and it still is.
I'm ashamed to say this, but when BWE writer's talk about folks that visited their sites, took what they needed, and skipped on their merry way, they were talking about me. Yes, I'm a BWE gleaner; I've made so many improvements to myself in the last few years because of their teachings. If you put a price on it, I got literally THOUSANDS of dollars worth of self help for free. BWE is the reason I have lost over 100 lbs. It's the reason I have a business. It's the reason I run races. It's the reason I've let go of everything that didn't have my best interest at heart, while holding close to me everything that did. And there is not a day that goes by that I don't run into a situation that sends me back to their teachings, books, friendship, etc.
This is no excuse - but blogging is hard work. It takes time, it saps you of energy (what to write, fighting the trolls, putting out fires) and frankly, I was busy living empowered. My deepest apologies to all - especially Khadija - but also, a heartfelt thank you....
BWE is a social movement geared for the advancement and the empowerment of Black women and girls. Simple, yet some folks can't understand or fathom such a thing. It is BLACK WOMEN FIRST. Having a white husband or IR relationship does not automatically make you BWE. BWE does not "compromise" with folks that would rather see black women stay in Mammy-mode , second fiddle positions. BWE does not back down, or kowtow to any DBR person's nonsense, there is no middle ground with those who would do BW harm. Very few bw "get it", that freedom is just a matter of walking away; they'd rather stay in suffering mode, fret about hair, skin and Ray Ray. But..once you do get it, it is liberating....
Which brings me to the point of all of this - Ms. Christelyn! Looks like you've been busy these last couple of days, trying to drag down BWE to cover up your stupid mistake. Aint gonna happen dear....you f*&$'d up, royally, and it may seem like you've won now, but Karma always bites you in ass.
You've been crying about being persecuted for seeing "a damn movie" (Red Tails) and you should have the right to make up your own mind and BWE is picking on poor little you, stop it you bullies!!! But what you are failing to mention is that you jumped on the "Don't go see RedTails" bandwagon when it hit, complete with outraged posts and a video urging BW to let Hollywood know about how they feel about being erased. You were all gung ho, hell no we won't go! So, what happens that next day, the very next day after the opening? You post that not only did you go see the damn movie, but you gave it a GLOWING review!! And then threw in some bs about "I had to go see it for Grampapa" OOOkayyy....whatever. ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS NOT SEE A MOVIE. Or, if you just had to see it, be slick and smart enough not to post that you did.
Listen, you can do what you want personally. It's a free country, it's your nine dollars, have at it. But when you put yourself in a position of leadership, when you purport to be down for a cause, and rub shoulder to shoulder in yep yep agreement with others in that same movement, and you flip flop on it, well, that's gonna be cause for scrutiny. When Halima and others posted , they weren't picking on you (they didn't even mention your name), they were clarifying what BWE and those that follow it stand for. When you are in a social movement, solidarity is important . If you cant even stand on something as simple as not seeing a movie, what else will you drop the ball on? And then, Blogher picks up your story, and titles it in a way that says "Hey, this black woman went and saw the movie, cant be that bad" ! So, in a couple of keystrokes, you managed to make the women that were serious about being erased from the damn movie look like a bunch of complaining fools with no real base to their argument. Thanks.....
I was willing to overlook all of that, figuring that you would chalk it up to experience and move on - but no, you couldn't do that. You needed validation , so you posted a series of temper tantrums about how life was just so unfair when folks call you out for screwing them over. For all your ranting about what you've done for BWE, almost none of your commenters seemed to know what it was. Your minions - who I will henceforth refer to as Mouthbreathers, because they serve no purpose but to take up space and suck all the air out of the room with their cluelessness and ass kissing - weren't enough to make you feel better, so you posted personal emails between Evia, Khadija and yourself, announcing your departure. Even tho I'm sure that you meant for these private messages to damage the images of these women, the emails only made you look stupid and unbalanced. Even more so , considering that this is the second time you've pulled this. And even more hiliarious, because both women told you, again, to F&*% off.....listen to them this time....
So, you are leaving BWE....okay.. I wish you luck, you are a great PR person, you are a go getter, you make things happen for yourself, your blog is entertaining.. make that money, I have no problem with that. But unfortunately, you are boo'd up with too many people that don't have BW's best interest at heart, from your tech folks, to the DBR men and women that you insist on giving a voice to degrade us. That's not what BWE is founded on, and these women have worked too hard , helped too many BW and made way too much progress to start sliding back now. You are not the first to walk away, but like the others, you'll be back as soon as things get good for BW, talmbout "oooh look what WE did!" Believe me, I've seen it before...
.....and the Ants will smile, say nothing, and go on about their work...
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